Good Riddance 2011, Hello 2012!

To say that 2011 was the worst year of my life would be an understatement. It is one year that I never care to relive, think about, or see again. I spent every.single.day of it in some kind of physical & mental pain. I survived Cushing's Syndrome, congestive heart failure, and the loss of my baby boy. Cushing's stole so much from me. It destroyed my physical & mental state. While my mental state is slowly returning to normal, I will live with the physical effects from this syndrome for the rest of my life. I thank God every day that I am alive. Cushing's stole the joy and zest for life that I have. It put me in so much physical pain that I was forced to miss out of dates, concerts, dinners, and pretty much anything else that a regular person does. I sat at home depressed and hurting.
I praise God for sending my endocrinologist to me. She knew exactly what was wrong and now I can focus on getting well. I have a very long road ahead of me, but I am on my way. I am so very sad about all the time I have missed out on being Ryan's mommy. I am glad it is returning, but it pains me to see all the heartache he and I had to endure while I was so very sick. To not want to hear your child's voice or do anything with him HURTS. At least I know it was the syndrome speaking and it wasn't ME. It's so very hard to explain the horror that I felt and still sometimes feel. I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy in the world. It's THAT BAD.
I am going to use 2012 to slowly put my life back together. It will take me awhile to wean off my steroids, but there is an end to this madness. I pray that anyone with symptoms of this syndrome seek help immediately. My doctors were fooled by my pregnancy and it cost me a year's worth of health and my sweet baby. My heart will forever ache for Patrick, but I am going to use this experience to help others so they never have to feel the PAIN that I have had to endure.
Good riddance 2011. You sucked...royally.
Hello 2012! New year, new hopes, new dreams.