I am finally home from the hospital. It is nice to sit in my own chair with my family. It's also nice to get to see Ryan for more than 15 minutes a day. I may not have any energy for him yet, but at least he's here.
I am so very tired and am taking lots of naps in between slamming doors, phones, and barking dogs, but I guess that's life. M&M's are making it better. My heart is weak, but I am geting around pretty well with some help.
Mike and I took a ride to the cemetery where we will lay baby Patrick to rest. It is beautiful and I am very pleased with it. We are having the funeral on Wednesday and are finalizing plans this week. I have a very wonderful lady from Etsy who is making Patrick's outfit for the funeral. His room was going to be a firetruck theme so we are going with all things firetruck!
It hasn't even been a week, but I am dealing with the reality the best I can. Talking about it helps. I may never understand why all of this happened, but it will certainly make me a stronger person. I feel about as weak as I have ever felt right now, but I know this too shall pass and I will have a great testimony to share with anyone else who may ever have to go through this.
God bless and I will keep you all updated!
wish there were words to take the pain away, but there aren't and never will be. glad you are home. hold those men of yours extra tight and try to re-coop the part of your heart that can be fixed. hugs!
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are able to be home now. Sending prayers your way for you and your family!!
ReplyDeleteOh, Kelly, I'm so sad for your loss. I can't even imagine your grief. I am so happy that you are doing well physically. I know your sweet little boy is the best medicine imaginable.
ReplyDeleteI had an early miscarriage this week, and with the huge amount of sadness I felt over that, I am now humbled by finding out about your experience. Your words in your last paragraph definitely are a blessing and testimony to me so thank you for taking the time to type them, even when you're feeling the worst you've ever felt.
Kelly, I can't even imagine the pain and struggles involved throughout this pregnancy and losing your precious Patrick, but I am constantly amazed by your strength and faith. I truly believe that you will see little Patrick again and that he will be your little angel watching your family.
ReplyDeleteKelly, I just got on here to check how things were with you an Ryan, and I sadly read that you lost your baby boy. I had no idea you were pregnant and had heart problems. I guess I can sympathize with you because I had them as well, although not to the critical degree you are dealing with. I am so sorry to read about your sweet Patrick. I can't express how badly I ache for you right now! This must be such a difficult struggle, but I am amazed at how strong you are and how you are handling it. The Lord IS watching over you and helping you through this; that I KNOW for a fact. He's carrying you in his arms, and feels your pain. Relying on the Lord and your family for help will help immensely. I'm here for you if you need to vent- my email is silvia.caswell@gmail.com. Take care sweetie, I hope your heart is getting better each day! Give that sweet Ryan a huge hug for me. I miss you from the iVillage board!
ReplyDeleteKelly--I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. I have seen you struggle since the day you found out you were pregnant. To have it end so tragically has been heart-breaking. The memorial service for Patrick was beautiful and moving and I will forever picture baby Patrick in Jesus's arms. I admire your strength and faith. God is with you always. Thinking and praying for you constantly.
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