Mother's Day

Unfortunately, I didn't get any pictures on Mother's Day, but will get some this week of my sweet boy and me. It was a day of mixed emotions at our house. While I am so grateful to be Ryan's mother, my heart ached for Patrick all day. I should be having a baby next weekend, not grieving an angel in Heaven.
We spent the morning at church and then went to Outback for lunch. I had the most wonderful Alice Springs Chicken quesadilla and salad! It was so yummy and really made me feel a lot better. I had a low blood pressure drop that morning and it scared me pretty badly. I felt like I was going to faint at church. Things got better once we left church and I ate.
After coming home, we all went down for a nice long nap. I am still needing a nap each day to make it through. I am only 2 months into my recovery and am trying to realize that this is going to take time and patience, something God is trying to teach me. I am also very overweight from this ordeal and will be starting cardiac rehab in a couple of weeks. I am so ready to get these pounds off so I can feel even better.
After our naps, we went to the cemetery to visit Patrick. I felt I needed to go. I miss him so much and am really learning all about the grieving process. I am currently reading "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby" by Deborah Davis. It is fantastic so far. I highly recommend it to anyone who has lost a child. The visit to the cemetery was very helpful for Mike and me. Ryan doesn't fully understand, but he knows his little brother is in Heaven.
We had a wonderful Mexican pot roast from the crock pot for dinner. Mike did all the prep and all the laundry yesterday too. I got 2 beautiful cards and a dozen roses from my boys. Ryan picked out a Cookie Monster card all by himself. What a precious boy!
I ended the day with a warm bath and a talk with my Dad. It was a difficult day, but God saw me through. I am really learning to lean on Him and not on myself. It's so hard some days, but I am going to make it one way or another. I hope you all had wonderful Mother's Days and I will get some pictures up very soon.